This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless to say the helpdesk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause". Actual dialog of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee:

Helpdesk Employee: "Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"

Customer: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

Helpdesk Employee: "What sort of trouble?"

Customer: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

Helpdesk Employee: "Went away?"

Customer: "They disappeared."

Helpdesk Employee: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

Customer: "Nothing."

Helpdesk Employee: "Nothing?"

Customer: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

Helpdesk Employee: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

Customer: "How do I tell?"

Helpdesk Employee: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

Customer: "What's a sea-prompt?"

Helpdesk Employee: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"

Customer: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

Helpdesk Employee: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

Customer: "What's a monitor?"

Helpdesk Employee: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

Customer: "I don't know."

Helpdesk Employee: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

Customer: "Yes, I think so."

Helpdesk Employee: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

Customer: ".......Yes, it is."

Helpdesk Employee: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

Customer: "No."

Helpdesk Employee: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

Customer: ".......Okay, here it is."

Helpdesk Employee: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of our computer."

Customer: "I can't reach."

Helpdesk Employee: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

Customer: "No."

Helpdesk Employee: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"

Customer: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."

Helpdesk Employee: "Dark?"

Customer: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

Helpdesk Employee: "Well, turn on the office light then."

Customer: "I can't."

Helpdesk Employee: "No? Why not?"

Customer: "Because there's a power outage."

Helpdesk Employee: "A power... A power outage? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the box and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

Customer: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

Helpdesk Employee: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

Customer: "Really? Is it that bad?"

Helpdesk Employee: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Customer: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

Helpdesk Employee: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."