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The Ape Man
A father of six children had been out of work for six months.
In desperation, he was reading through the want ads in the
paper and came across an ad for someone to work at the zoo. The
man called the zoo and asked if he could have the job, but was
told that he would need to come in for an interview. The next
day he went to the interview, but before beginning, he was told
by his potential employer that he would need to raise his hand
to the square and promise that the proceedings of the interview
would be kept confidential, whether he got the job or not. The
man reluctantly took the oath, then asked what this job and
oath were all about. The zoo owner asked the man what he thought
the zoo's main attraction was. Without hesitation the man
replied,
'Everyone knows that. It's the big ape!'
'Well,' said
the zoo owner, 'this is the part you cannot divulge, because we
would lose our business. The big ape died, and we need to keep
it a secret by putting the ape skin on someone who can imitate
the ape--at least until the new ape arrives in three months.'
'That's me!' said the man. 'I can do that! I was a gymnast in
high school and college.'
The zoo owner then challenged the man
to audition by acting like an ape. The man assumed a crouched
position and began running, jumping, and swinging around the
room, imitating the actions and sounds of an ape.
'Wow! You're
really good!' said the owner, and immediately gave the man the
job.
The next day the man, dressed as the ape, went into the
cage and was an instant hit. Everyone heard how the ape was
performing and came to the zoo to see him. The crowds got bigger
and bigger as time went by, and the front page of the paper
proclaimed, 'The ape has gone ape!' About two months before the
new ape was to arrive, the man had about five hundred people
in front of his cage, and he was waxing eloquent. He was
flipping and jumping and swinging everywhere, when all of a
sudden, at the top of a swing, his rope broke and threw him
into the lion's cage. He rolled a few times, coming to rest
against the bars, and turned to find himself across the cage
from the king of beasts, who lay across the cage with his head
down on one paw. He knew right away that he was in trouble, so
he began screaming like an ape and running back and forth along
the bars in hopes that someone would rescue him from this
situation. No one moved. As he looked again, the lion began
to move slowly and stalk him. The lion then growled, curled his
upper lip over his teeth, and assumed a position to leap. Just
at this moment, the man decided that his family was more
important to him than his promise to the owner of the zoo. He
looked up and started screaming,
'Help! Help! I'm not really
an ape, I'm a man. Get me out of here!'
The lion looked at him
and said in a loud whisper, 'Hush up, you fool! You'll get us
both fired!'
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